The One Day Traveller

11:59:59. P.M. The second hand ticks and a new day begins.
A life with the ability to fill each day with everything.
pack it full of friendships and relationships,
books and films and learning.
social days and proactive days.
busy days, and lazy days.

11:59:59. PM. And I got back to the start.
Midnight. The darkest hour.
But I am standing at the start of a new day, with all the possibilities to do what I want.
I live and love and learn.
I let the clock tick over, lose days that I know I will never see again.
Relive the ones that mean the most.

23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds that I can redo.
I make a mistake with her, I can fix it.
I miss out on the opportunity to make her smile, I can retry it.
I slip and fall, I can catch myself.
Close my eyes and I'm back to the start.
Never a day wasted.

August the 2nd 11:59:59. PM.
The knife sinks deep.
A blackness washes over me

And I fall.
Beneath the murky yellow light I bleed.
I fade.

August 2nd 00:00:00. AM.
I breathe again.
Life back in my veins and knowledge in my head.
I live the day again.
Better than before, it shall not be my last.
Learn from my mistakes.

August 2nd 11:59:59. PM.
A car.
Her back.
A crash.
Her dead.

August 3rd 00:01:01. AM.
I get the call.
Her friend, crying, wailing down the phone.
I hear the news, and try and slip back.
But I am stuck.
August 3rd 00:00:00. AM. I start again and know that she is gone.

August 13th 15:03:03. PM.
She has been buried again.
I have seen her coffin lowered more times than I have ever done anything else.
I cannot leave.
Without her,
I do not want to live another day.